FAQs

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT DIVORCE MEDIATION

What is divorce mediation?

It’s a two-step process: negotiating a separation agreement, and navigating the process for a divorce.

When does mediation make sense?

Both parties in a court case must be ready to compromise. You each must try to reach a reasonable solution in good faith. Otherwise, it does not work.

Why should I try mediation?

Mediation lets you try to solve problems creatively.

It is generally cheaper than court.

It is confidential and you can always still go to court if mediation does not work out.

What do you (the client) do in mediation?

Mediation involves a meeting where you both get help to figure out all the details of your separation and divorce. This includes how you’ll handle parenting, make decisions for your kids, divide your property and debts, if one of you needs financial support, and how to move forward with the divorce.

What do I (the mediator) do in mediation?

I help you both stay on track during discussions, make sure you know all the topics to consider, and guide you to useful information for making smart choices. I can share solutions other couples have used or ideas I think of, but you don’t have to use them. I can also review any plans you’ve made to spot potential issues based on my experience with other divorcing couples.

What specifically will be covered?

You’ll discuss your children’s schedule, how you’ll make decisions for them in two separate households, and how you’ll meet their financial needs. You’ll also cover how you’ll handle assets and debts, whether both of you have enough to live on, health insurance, tax filings, life insurance, tax exemptions, and other financial issues. For a detailed list of questions, check out the ‘Decisions Checklist’ tab above.

Will the outcome be fair?

You’ll decide if something is fair or not, and if it isn’t, you don’t have to agree to it. Remember, mediators don’t make decisions for you like judges do. I’ll guide the questions, but you both will provide the answers. I’m not an arbitrator or a private judge; I won’t just listen and then tell you what to do. You’ve been making financial and parenting decisions together during your marriage, and I trust you can continue to do so. I’ll manage the process, but you’ll decide if the outcomes are fair for you.

How long is mediation?

I usually work in sessions of about an hour and a half, but I ask you to block out two hours in your schedules, just like I do. That way, we won’t have to abruptly stop if we’re in the middle of a discussion. Some people seem to work better with longer sessions, while others start to feel tired after an hour. But I’ve noticed that most couples reach a point where they start to get less out of the session after about an hour and a half, so that’s what we’ll aim for.

When will we be finished?

The time it takes to reach an agreement on a separation agreement can vary a lot. But if you can talk about the important points directly during mediation meetings, it usually takes about two or three sessions to agree on everything, or maybe three to four if you have kids. Then it’ll take a few weeks to draft, review, and sign the official papers. In most cases, couples have the agreement signed and in effect within 2 weeks from when they start the process. But keep in mind that the actual decree of divorce will take much longer, probably many more months, because the courts in Benton and Franklin County are really busy.

Who sits at the table?

Most of the discussions will take place with everyone talking together. There may be times, though, that I’d want to talk with each of you separately.

Is the mediation process confidential and binding?

Everything you say in mediation is confidential, and nothing you agree to in a session is binding. If you reach an agreement on all points, it will be written into a formal, legal contract, just like if you had negotiated through attorneys. Once you sign it, the agreement becomes a binding and enforceable contract and will be the terms of your Divorce Judgment.

How much will all this cost?

The cost depends on how complicated your situation is and how well you can talk things through on your own. Mediation sessions are charged at an hourly rate for the time spent with you, and the same rate applies for drafting any agreement and preparing the divorce papers.

Will I have to go to court?

Yes, however, court appearance are drastically reduced if an agreement is reached. Once an agreement is reached, you’ll file this agreement in court (along with the divorce petition if you haven’t already) and wait the required time (at least 90 days in WA State after the initial petition) before your divorce is finalized.

What should we bring to the first session?

If possible, prepare a simple list of your assets and debts with approximate values. If you can’t, don’t worry, but it helps me quickly understand your financial situation without asking too many questions. Also, having copies of last year’s tax returns can help me get up to speed quickly.